Do I miss my Christian Faith?

I used to have a Christian faith. It started as a fairly conventional low-church Anglican belief, but it got complicated when I bumped into the Charismatics, the Pentecostals and finally some Fundamentalists. Up until then I was quite happy to believe in God as a remote being, almost unimaginably remote, who didn't so much respond to prayer as allow prayer to change our thinking about things.
But the Charismatics had other ideas. They were all for triumphing over circumstances, using the name of Jesus as a sort of assault tank. Adversity, you see, is the work of the Devil and the Devil must give way to the name of Jesus. Illness will be healed, finances will be sorted and customers will flock to my business.
OK that's not all Charismatics, just the triumphalists and the prosperity gospellers, but the whole movement was geared up to getting human beings to exercise the supernatural power of God.
The only problem was that it didn't work. There were no answers to prayers - not even the answer 'no' - just a deafening silence. What really hurt was the way it was my fault. I wasn't listening. I didn't have enough faith. Think back to the last thing God asked you to do and have you done it? Is there an unconfessed sin between you and God?
Then there were the fundamentalists, the Biblical literalists who insisted that God really did create the universe in six days and that it all happened a bare six thousand years ago. Some of them even had a date in October. Not that such a belief is harmful in itself. If people want to think that a myth like the story in the book of Genesis is the literal truth then that is their choice.
But it has two side effects.
The first is that they take every other myth in the book they call the Word of God to be the absolute truth as well. More of that in another post.
The other is that they reduce any concept of God to the anthropomorphic being in the sky that these early myths portray. God is tidy and contained - tamed and the universe shrinks. Instead of being unimaginably vast and unimaginably old, mysterious, beautiful and dangerous, it becomes nothing but a symbol for God.
And not a symbol for a  being so different that even to say that God 'exists' is an unbearable strain on language - no - this God is merely a craftsman who can be contained within the pages of book.
The God they were giving me was a God invented by human beings and when the universe proved too vast for such a tiny God, they wanted to shrink the universe.
The late Carl Sagan wrote in A Pale Blue Dot, "How is it that hardly any major religion has looked at science and concluded, 'This is better then we thought! The universe is much bigger than our prophets said; grander, more subtle, more elegant. God must be even bigger than we dreamed.'? Instead they say, 'No, no, no! My God is a little god and I want him to stay that way.'"